When a cherished individual passes away, it is customary for family members to assume the task of crafting an obituary. These written tributes often serve as heartfelt commemorations of the deceased, blending warmth and sentimentality to celebrate their life and legacy. However, not all families choose to follow the traditional approach of offering glowing praise in their obituaries. In some cases, families take a different path, opting for honesty and even bluntness in recounting their experiences with the departed.
Obituaries are not private documents. They are typically published in local newspapers and increasingly shared online, making them accessible to a broad audience. Depending on the platform, dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of people may encounter the obituary.
One particular obituary, which garnered significant attention, sheds light on the complexity of family dynamics and relationships. Kathleen Dehmlow’s two adult children decided to write an obituary for their late mother, revealing aspects of their family life that were far from harmonious. The obituary was published in The Redwood Falls Gazette, a local newspaper, and quickly became the subject of widespread discussion.
At first glance, the obituary reads like a standard tribute, reflecting on Kathleen’s life and milestones. However, as the text progresses, it becomes clear that deeper, unresolved issues lay beneath the surface. The concluding sentence of the obituary took readers by surprise with its stark tone, which some found shocking, while others considered it darkly humorous.
The candid nature of the obituary sparked immediate backlash, leading the newspaper to remove it from circulation. Despite this, the obituary had already begun to spread online, where it attracted an even larger audience. Some readers were drawn to the striking honesty, while others criticized the tone as overly harsh and inappropriate.
A family member later confirmed the authenticity of the obituary’s contents, though they noted that it lacked important context. According to Dwight, a relative who spoke with reporters, the piece omitted key details that might have offered a more balanced perspective. He acknowledged that Kathleen had made a serious mistake many decades ago but emphasized that she had since expressed regret for her actions. He pointed out that everyone makes mistakes, and her past should not define her entire life.
Despite these mitigating comments, the person responsible for writing the obituary chose to include statements that conveyed lingering resentment. Their intention appeared to be to make a definitive statement, regardless of the emotional toll it might take on others who read it.
The controversial obituary raised questions about editorial standards for publishing such personal content. Some individuals even doubted whether the obituary had genuinely appeared in print, prompting the CEO and founder of the newspaper to address the matter directly. He clarified that, legally, there were no restrictions preventing the publication of an obituary, regardless of its tone or content.
However, he also emphasized that their newspaper partners uphold rigorous content standards. In response to the public outcry, the team conducted a thorough review of the obituary. Ultimately, the decision to remove it was made, acknowledging the significant negative reaction it had provoked within the community.
This unique obituary serves as a reminder of the complexities involved in commemorating a loved one’s life. While obituaries traditionally aim to celebrate and honor the deceased, they can also become outlets for unresolved emotions and grievances. In some cases, the raw honesty expressed can resonate with readers, offering a rare glimpse into the real dynamics of a family. However, such candor can also spark controversy and debate, as demonstrated by the widespread reactions to Kathleen’s obituary.
If you find yourself curious about the actual contents of the obituary, you are not alone. Its bold and unfiltered tone has intrigued countless readers, making it a fascinating case study in how personal narratives are shared in public forums. For those who have seen the obituary, it is clear that the authors chose to use it as a platform to express their truth, regardless of the potential consequences.
This situation also raises important questions about how we choose to remember and portray the people we lose. Should obituaries serve as purely positive reflections, focusing solely on the good? Or is there room for them to capture the full spectrum of human experience, including flaws and conflicts?
Kathleen’s story highlights the delicate balance between honoring someone’s life and acknowledging their humanity. While it is natural to want to celebrate a loved one’s positive qualities, it is equally important to recognize that every individual has complexities, struggles, and imperfections. The choice of how to present these truths in an obituary ultimately falls to the family, who must navigate their emotions and decide what legacy they wish to leave behind.
In the case of Kathleen Dehmlow, her children’s decision to pen a brutally honest obituary was undoubtedly controversial. Yet, it also underscores the broader question of how families grapple with their own histories and the narratives they choose to share with the world. This obituary, with its unexpected and striking conclusion, serves as a powerful reminder that grief, memory, and reconciliation are deeply personal processes.
As we reflect on this story, it is worth considering how we might approach similar situations in our own lives. Writing an obituary can be an opportunity to celebrate love, forgiveness, and growth—or it can be a moment to confront unresolved emotions and lingering pain. Whatever the approach, it is a chance to tell a story, one that captures not only the life that was lived but also the impact it had on those left behind.
